Allergies

by bobby fernbaugh

I'm allergic to a lot of things as you all might know.

The list is long so here we go.

First of all, I'm allergic to answering machines,

and also allergic to all the people in this world that are mean.

I'm also allergic to smoke,

cause every time I smell it I feel like I'm gonna choke.

I'm also allergic to very high places,

and also allergic to the idea of meeting new faces.

I'm allergic to small furry cats,

but definitely not allergic to my wide collection of hats.

I'm also allergic to roller coasters,

and I'd have more fun sticking my hand in a toaster.

I'm allergic to all the people who don't like to e-mail

and my love for them is the same as my love for bread that is stale.

I'm allergic to give speeches,

and I'm allergic to almost anyone who teaches.

I'm also allergic to most food that comes from the sea,

but I'm not allergic to my favorite drink, iced tea.

I'm certainly allergic to all the fans of Star Trek,

But no need to worry, my Star Wars buds got my back.

The only music I'm allergic to is country and techno,

and instead of listening to them I'd rather drop a bowling ball on my toe.

I'm allergic to heights,

and you can't forget those darn shark bites.

I'm also allergic to waters that are deep,

and allergic to mountains that are steep.

Finally, I'm allergic to guns,

cause the possibility of taking someone's life isn't what I call fun.

Unless they're a Packer fan and dedicated cheese-head,

'cause I'm allergic to them all and I wouldn't mind filling them all up with lead.

These are all the allergies that come to my mind,

and until next time, I'll see what else I can find.